Big Man on the Inside, No One Special on the Outside

Bob was a fantastic artist.  During his prison stay he always had someone wanting him to draw a family portrait for them or to make a greeting card for a relative’s birthday.  He was considered to be one of the best artists in the prison.  He was a big man within the walls.

After many years, he got out.  He got a job hauling rock around for a landscape company.  He also married a woman who wrote to him when he was in prison.  Before they were married, they were already talking about what last name she would use if they got divorced.

She had quite a temper and once went to his sister’s house where he had clothes stored.  She took all his clothes and all his art supplies leaving him with only the clothes on his back.  She returned a hand drum he was painting after learning it was a gift for the mother of a local gang member who wouldn’t be very happy about her stealing it.  Eventually they kissed and made up and she gave Bob back the rest of his clothes.  Her rationale in taking his clothes was that she had purchased many of the clothes for him.

He didn’t like his job or his marriage so he absconded and went back to his reservation.  He also went back to using drugs.  His photo appeared on Facebook once when he was in a hospital recovering from a cracked skull.  He was in a fight with his brother fueled by drugs and alcohol and his brother hit him over the head with a horse shoe.

His sister wouldn’t let him live with her and her family anymore on the rez because he scared her children when he was high.  He moved into an abandoned mobile home for the winter, which had no heat.   Every once in a while, he would call trying to sell me something or wanting me to drive 90 miles to take him back to the rez when he went to see his wife.  I didn’t do it.

Then I received another call one evening.  He said he was in a local mental health unit and wanted me to come to talk to him.   He asked me to bring a Big Mac because he was hungry.  I bought a Big Mac and went to see him.  He was skin and bones and had difficulty speaking a coherent sentence.  He told me he had gone to the tribal police station and told them he planned to kill himself.  They had a tribal cop drive him to Sioux Falls to the mental health unit.  He told me he was thinking about turning himself in, which meant he would go back to prison for absconding from parole.  I suggested he think hard about what he wanted to do.  He told me he was no one special outside of prison.

I had just barely arrived home when he called again and said he wanted to return to prison and he wanted me to call the prison to have someone come to get him.  At his insistence, I did call.  Later I learned from him that no one came so after two hours he went on a rampage to get the mental health unit people to call the police.  The police returned him to the prison.

He received treatment and slowly gained some weight.  Now he is close to being released again.  I don’t know if he is married or divorced now.

What will happen to him when he is no longer a big man in prison?  Time will tell.

Mary Montoya