They say that I ___________

Those words preference quite a few conversations I have with inmates.  Sometimes men tell me why they are in prison.  I make it a practice to never ask.  Often their cases have been on the news so I already know.

Some inmates are straight up about what they did to get into prison.  Others start out by saying, “They say that I ___.”  The next words might be something like, “I was in the car at the convenience store and didn’t know my friend was going to pull a gun on the clerk” or “My brother really did it, but I took the blame since I know how to do time and he doesn’t.”

Sex offenders need to attend classes if they want to get out on parole.  I know of one man who served his entire sentence because he refused to attend the classes.  He didn’t want anyone to know he was serving time for a sex offense.  He told everyone he was there for killing his mother’s boyfriend while defending her.

99% of the time the other inmates know why someone is in prison.  It’s a small State.  People from back home talk.  Sometimes friends and relatives of a man coming in are prepared to welcome him with some coffee or other items from commissary even though they aren’t supposed to share what they buy.

One man I know was eager to see his friend come in.  He told me his friend had been sleeping with his wife.  I asked him if that made him angry.  He told me no since his wife had her physical needs.  He was prepared with food to give to his friend.

As you can imagine, in a State our size it can happen that a man is sentenced for harming someone and the person he harmed has relatives in prison.  The prison has separation orders so a man and his victim or his victim’s family aren’t housed together.  Many of the inmates don’t believe in getting the police involved in disputes.  They prefer to take care of matters themselves.

One particularly awful way to take care of matters is to “padlock” the person on whom they want to get revenge.  They take the padlock from their storage locker, put it in a sock and swing it to hit their target in the head.  The target often ends up in the hospital and the avenger ends up in the SHU (special housing unit) with more time added to his sentence.  There are cameras all over and snitches so it is nearly impossible to get away with beating up someone without being detected.

Usually the men who say, “They say that I _____” don’t make it long out of prison before they are back again.  They are the guys who think everything is someone else’s fault.  Often their mother believes this and will call the prison if she thinks Sonny is not being treated fairly.  She will complain to the warden or anyone else she can get on the phone.  When Mom calls me, I tell her I am a volunteer with no power to fix anything so she will need to contact someone who works at the prison.  Other inmates are not favorably impressed by the crybabies who are always having their mother’s call the prison.

An inmate who accepts responsibility for his actions is much more likely to take steps to change his life for the better than an inmate who blames everyone else when he is caught.

Mary Montoya